Well, today has been a roller-coaster of a day. I love roller-coasters; in fact, we do our best to plan my pregnancies around our youth group’s Cedar Point trip…But this is a different type. Andy and I took Miles today to the Autism Treatment Center at Riley Hospital in Indi. We’ve been on a waiting list for a year, and were really excited to see a new dr. Before we moved, he was seeing a neurologist at the Cleveland Clinic, and in the last year, he has made amazing strides…So, we were driving down, expecting them to say, “Yeah, no signs of autism. Looks good!” We were in the waiting room with some kids who had evident behavior problems, whereas looking at Miles, most people wouldn’t notice anything different. Very humbled and grateful, although hating to be grateful because of the parents who had to deal with those kids day in and day out, Andy leans to me and says, “It doesn’t seem like we should be here.” Well, after our 2 hr. appt. with the dr., she said she sees definite signs of autism. While he is high-functioning, he has evident social, behavioral, and communication impairments. I don’t know if it’s because I still picture the kids who were in the waiting room and not our little Miles who tucking him in bed tonight says “More hugs, more kiss”, but it still doesn’t seem like reality to say our child has autism. Every dr. we’ve seen since he was 15 mos. has talked around the issue. Our therapists, etc. have given us information on autism. His speech therapist took me to an autism conference and lended me several books on the issue, and I don’t think we’ve been in denial. Just about the time I think our situation is very difficult, I see someone with it much more difficult and always want to be thankful for what we have. But tonight Andy and I are pretty numb. We met with Brazil team leaders, and walked through the motions of putting the kids down with smiles on our faces. So wanting to distract ourselves, Andy turns on the tv and I log onto xanga. After 5 min., I asked him what he was watching and it hadn’t even registered. Turns out it wasn’t even in English–some documentary on FARC!
Anyhow, all we can come back to tonight is how so many times we ask God to take away the difficult times. But His plan and love is greater than our own. And my prayer tonight is to be strengthened to handle the realities of a child with autism. Label or no label, it doesn’t change all that much–he’s still our little buddy.
Jack came with us, but it got to be too much for him, so Andy took him down to McD’s to get some ice cream. He said Jack was silent the whole time, relishing his “I weem”, but occasionally he’d look up at Andy and give an enthusiastic “WOW!”