more “milestones”
school2 jack mom
Although Miles started preschool Tuesday, his big highlight of the week was a visit from baby Asia (and Dave & Tip–so good to see you guys!)
Jack just as cute as ever!
I was the only mom who stayed the entire first day of preschool.  I really did mean to drop him off for the 3 hours, but then when all the other moms left, I just couldn’t walk away.  Andy said he knew all along I wouldn’t leave, and maybe I could’ve, but I just wanted to stay and watch.  Maybe it’s my teaching degree, maybe it’s Miles’ special needs, maybe he’s just my baby, who knows, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave, and the teacher was very happy to have me stay, so maybe Monday will be his real first day of preschool   Different times brought tears to my eyes, like during recess, I was talking with the teacher, and I hear the recess duty lady keep blowing the whistle to find it was at my son.  She was telling him he had to swing on his bottom rather than like an “airplane,” which is the only way he knows right now.  I’m thinking, “Lady, he has no idea what you’re trying to tell him, and does it really matter if he pretends he’s an airplane?  He’s only 3!!  Besides, it is safer for him to lay across the swing than try and jump up on his bottom.”  Which brings me to the next subject I’ve been thinking alot about. 

Where does the pressure come from that a parent feels for their child to perform a certain way at a specific level? You parents know what I’m talking about.  Is it something we place on ourselves?  Or does it come from the dirty looks when your child acts otherwise?  Or is there an underlying expectation society has placed on us through its “How to” manuals on parenting, etc? 
So, here’s a few of my examples (I’m sure you have plenty of your own): 
After pre-K orientation, the aid pulled me aside and said Miles had trouble pulling girls hair, and I ought to work with him on it…okay thanks. 
The next day a mom came to pick up her daughter and asked how she did.  The teacher said “She had problems listening and paying attention and keeping her shoes on, but then again, she’s only 3.” 
So here’s what I’m thinking.  Of course we want to raise obedient, kind, considerate children, but there’s a difference in doing it because it’s best for the child or because it makes the parent look good.  And the danger in all of this is they’re only 3!!  They are learning their limits, personality, likes/dislikes, and while we have the responsibility to mold their character, it must be ever so gently as not to crush their spirit. 

Oh, I don’t know if this makes sense.  I certainly am glad Miles is easing into the school environment–6 hrs. a week shouldn’t do too much damage   Who knows, maybe it’d be better just to move overseas where they don’t have all the constraints of an American school system.   I do know we have a looooong road ahead in figuring out what’s best.  So here’s some of today’s considerations…


6 thoughts on “

  1. alieugene

    I don’t know if you remember me or not…Alice from OB 99..and I went to Grace.  Anyways..I am teaching first grade now..and I couldn’t agree with you more.  So often the schools try to mold children into these adults and forget to let them be kids.  I get a lot from the older teachers in my school because when they walk by my kids are out of their seats and talking BUT they are learning and that is why they are there!!  So….thanks for the post!!  And keep letting Miles swing like an airplane!! I support it!!!!  ~Alice McLane

  2. peteandheather

    Thanks for the tip about the lollipop during the haircut–and the cup of water to rinse off the hair.  Great idea!  Where are you taking Miles for preschool?  I totally agree about the pressure…when Jon gets loud at a restraunt I feel so awkward…but at home, I just make noise back at him.  Why do I care so much about what others think?  And who cares if a 3 year old wants to take their shoes off or swing like an airplane?  I know there needs to be some structure, but…anyway, I appreciate your thoughts.  🙂

  3. JAMBender

    ~I thought about you this morning, and taking Miles back to school, and I prayed for you.  I hope things go well today, and I think it’s great that you stayed his first day.  I’m sure the teacher loved the extra help, and it was probably a good way to help Miles get used to his new surroundings!  Have a great day today 🙂

  4. crabtrees

    hey,  I get what you’re saying.  For me it’s those voices in my head (my mother, old teachers, my grandparents, friends) and their oponions on how children should behave.  Of course some days it’s my pride in wanting to look like I’m such a good parent.  Parenting: hardest job ever.

  5. davegabhart

    i’m out in phoenix getting ready to start my second year of bible collegeo…….
    i’m working full time in sales for a pool builder…….
    see a lot of weird stuff…..
    and a lot of weird people……
    but God is good……
    d a v e


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