Monthly Archives: September 2006

when life and beliefs collide.

Another Thursday night.  I stayed home from the Venture, as Miles has a dr. appt. early tomorrow and I had plans of all I could get done…but I pick up the book and there goes the night.  When Life and Beliefs Collide.  Don’t think I’m writing a book review, but there’s so many things in this book that have stuck out to me.  Maybe some will be an encouragement to you. 
    “We want to know the one who made us, who defines who we are and how we should live and who holds our lives in the palms of His hands.”
    “Tribulation, pain and anger have a way of jarring us out of polite religious conversation with God and our habit of handing Him his daily to-do list.”
    “Sometimes we see God more clearly in the dark, when He has our undistracted attention and we struggle to know if the hand that rules the night is as good and powerful as the hand that rules the day.”
    “A malnourished faith is no match for the artillery that comes against us in the trenches of ordinary life.”
And my personal top 3 so far… 
3.   “Jesus gives purpose and meaning to everything–even senseless moments like this endless wait for an outcome.  Nothing we do falls outside the scope of the race.  Everything matters.  Even the cup of water a mother takes to a little child in the dead of night is a significant act in God’s eyes (Matt. 10.42).”
2.    “Hope is strong within us because we know the character of our God.”
1.    “Christian joy is more than a mood swing or a shift in hormone levels.  Nor is it, as some have suggested, a choice or duty to be happy, at least on the outside, even when we’re miserable inside.  True joy springs irrepressibly from the heart and is always rooted in our theology.  Which explains why joy can appear in the middle of a crisis and coexist with pain, brokenness, grief, or loneliness.  Joy isn’t grounded in our circumstances; it is grounded in the unchanging character of God.”

The other night when Jack was sick, I kept thinking of the #3 quote, and it was so cool to think how our worship of God is all-encompassing.  A cup of water to a sick child in the night, that’s worship.  It’s more than a song, but the state of our heart as we take care of His little ones. 
And the #1 quote is constantly on my mind, as I want that kind of joy.  Rooted in my understanding of who God is and that His way supersedes any ideas I have of a better plan…Joy that springs from my surrender to His holy Lordship over my (and much more difficult, my family’s) life…
I’m just realizing how important it is for me to be in right thinking.  I can’t fake it with kids, they will (and are) pick up when I’m anxious, fretful or trusting, surrendered.  And what a ministry to my husband, to have a response for him when times are hard that flows from trusting ultimately in our Savior.  And now that all sorts of people are watching us, do they see my concerns are selfish or do they learn that there is One’s glory I always strive for?  And what will Christ say?  Hey, you may not even have to read the book if I continue like this!  I just saved you $10.99.
Well, more to come, but Andy just got back…
Tomorrow is DATE NIGHT!  Dinner and Donald Miller.  Really, he’s at WCC in person.



The Royer household is a much happier place, now that the kids are over their fevers, vomiting, incessant crying (well, that still happens)  But it’s so hard to look in on your 2 yr. old who can’t even keep tylenol or a few sips of water down and their fever is so high they’re shaking from the chills as they sleep in their crib.  There’s something within us that just wants to FIX IT.  So, we’re very thankful this is Jack tonight before bed…
Happier, I think  So, I really can’t choose which would win the award for the cutest picture…
I spent most of yesterday and today feeling lousy, fever, chills, nauseous…I even took a pregnancy test I felt so crappy (hey, accidents have happened a few times to us before 🙂  I guess I’ve been a little out of it.  When we’re sick, we kind of get in “survival mode.”  You know, wash the items that smell, throw together a meal (because it might not stay down anyway), put back the items the kids drug out that are hazardous (scissors, household cleaners, random medicines–just kidding, mom 🙂  So now that I’m feeling a bit better, I’m looking around our house like this is what happens when you don’t touch it in 3 days…There’s even a half of a baked potato left over from dinner sitting on my nightstand that Miles brought in here saying it was Mr. Potato Head.  So, I think I’m in for some major house rennovations…
But now all I want to do is read this amazing book I’m into that I’ll write about some other time, because it’s deeply theological and is changing the course of the way I think and want to live…so it doesn’t really go with the blog so far…guess you’ll have to stay tuned 🙂  Stay healthy everyone–wash your hands and don’t eat spinach.  Boy, this is the first in news history anyone’s been telling me that.

and the flu strikes again…


Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but when we placed the kids in the wagons Riley Hospital lends patients Wednesday and wheeled them past the “Pediatric Infectious Disease” dept. on our way to Miles’ dr…I thought this may come back to bite us.  And sure enough, it did.  Friday both boys simultaneously came down with 103-104 degree fevers and Jack couldn’t keep anything down.  (It could be bad timing or the fact that we have people over most nights, but it’s too crazy how many times we find they’re sick in the midst of company…) I think the worst of it is over, but now I’m starting to think I have more than sympathy pains…as my fever may be the second clue.  So, this is going to be short.  But in the midst of nursing our sickos, they said some of the sweetest things. 
    Jack was in the other room throwing up, and Miles was giving his own commentary for what’s going on:  “Jack cries and then says “HI YAH!” (HI YAH said in the same tone as a karate chop.)
    Jack brought a toy for me to open, and when I did, there was a spider in it, so I sqished it, not thinking he would notice.  But Jack, being the sweetheart he is, says “sorry spider.”  I felt horrible…not as bad as the spider, but I need to be more careful, as he LOOOVES nature, especially spiders.
    Miles hurt his thumb and came over for me to kiss it.  He said “I hurt my finger.”  “Which finger, Miles?”  “My oi, tudo bem finger.”  (As he gives a thumbs up and says “Hi how are you?” in portuguese.)

I have an amazing husband.  Thursdays are a loooooooong day, with the venture starting at 9…so, he gave me some time this morning on my own, to process yesterday’s appointment.  Last night after we got home from Indy, we had a meeting on reaching out to internationals in our community (by offering ESL at our church, etc.), so basically all we could do was switch gears, then after putting the kids to bed, Andy went outside and built a fire and sat there until midnight…I tried to join him , but I was so cold, I sat as close to the fire as I could without catching my knees on fire…but then your back is just as cold…so I went to bed.  (I love the way God made men and women to deal with stress differently.)
So, I’m locked in our room, and occasionally I hear a little 3 ft. tall creature rattle the door and check…yep, still locked.  It’s sweet, I hear Miles comforting Jack out there.  Jack: “Wanna see mommy.”  Miles:  “No baby Jack, mommy’s taking a bath.”  Now, I hear Andy playing the harmonica, and every now and then a 2nd one chimes in…Anyhow, back to my world here. 
Yesterday, as is typical of our drives down to Indy, we’re talking about how far Miles has come and how well he’s doing.  Yes, our days are long and difficult, but I don’t know if you grow used to it as much as you just get through…and looking back to last appt.(in May), I think he’s made amazing strides.  He’s potty-trained (most days ), he’s doing well in school (although it sets him over the edge for the rest of the day, but we’re working on getting some ways he can release his “sensory overload” before it’s too late…), he’s talking much clearer and surprising us with new phrases everyday.  And the dr. acknowledged these things, but still showed concern…and offered other appts. we need to look into and treatments we need to consider.  I don’t know what response I’d hoped for…maybe to say “Yep, this can be your last appt. with me.  He’s just fine!”  or “You’re obviously doing things right because he’s come so far.”  But, you know as well as I, drs. don’t share those things too freely.  (If you’ve ever had a dr. say that, please let me know–we’re switching to them
Oh, there’s more I could explain about our time there, but I guess it all comes down to…Miles is an amazing kid.  He has strengths that put us all to shame.  Yesterday, when we came home and had to quick switch gears for our meeting, I had a little overload myself and started crying.  He is very sensitive and immediately gave me a huge bear hug and kiss (on both cheeks like in Europe).  It was all I needed to refocus.  Autism or not, Miles is our special little guy, and I love him just the way God made him.  We want to do what’s best for him, and I used to think that was the GFCF diet, speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, ABA, homeopathy, enzymes…and while those things have helped and we’re still doing some…you come to a point where you don’t have time to enjoy the child…to pray for healing, but to thank God for His beautiful creation.
In the car, our boys love to sing, and my favorite moment of the drive was when Miles would throw his head back in his car seat and sing at the top of his lungs “Holy is the Lord GOD ALMIGHTY, the earth is filled with His glory!”  Andy and I would look at each other, smile and say “I can imagine there is little more that brings joy to the heart of God.  Isn’t that how all of our responses should be?   In weakness, in handicaps, in special needs, the earth is filled with His glory.  They are not an accident, but the very thing that can bring God glory.  For His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
So, time to shower and find my boys who are now outside I think…only because it’s unusually quiet. 
Oh, and one last story:  I was driving the last stretch yesterday, and all of a sudden we came over a hill and upon a sign that said 35mph…I was doing 55!  I hit the brakes, but there was a cop right there ready to nail me, and I as nonchalantly as I could went 41 past him figuring it’s too late…and kept watching, but no copper in my rear view mirror.  Luck or Grace.  Whatever.  I’m so thankful I didn’t have a speeding ticket to add to the day.

  I had some extra hands to help me make an apple pie tonight.
There is a quality Jack has that I admire and learn from daily and pray
I can become better at it…Jackson is a  peacemaker at heart. 
Spending more one-on-one time with Jack, I am able to better see what
he truly likes to do.  For instance, they always watch a show at 10 am,
and when Miles is here, they watch Wiggles.  But when Miles is at
preschool, Jack prefers Sesame Street.  The thing is, he’s never said a
word otherwise…When I ask what they want to watch, he waits for Miles
to respond and then enthusiastically reiterates whatever he says!  And
it’s not that Jack is a pushover.  He may be 1 yr. younger, but he
could easily take Miles…but there’s a word that always come to mind
when Miles is beating up on Jack…meekness (strength controlled).  He
wants nothing more than to have fun with his big brother…which isn’t
solved if Jack were to take him out…but it’s always solved by Jack
turning the other cheek (after I discipline Miles) and forgiving 70
times 7.  There are tons of examples of this in his 2 yr. lifespan, and
I’m just continually blown away at how he responds so lovingly and
graciously…even if he’s been attacked all day.  I pray alot that Jack
would not grow bitter or turn on Miles, but learn this lifelong lesson
of what lies in store for the peace-maker…they will be called sons of
God (Matthew 5.9). 

Today Miles had show and tell and wanted to bring Dorothy.  I wish I
could’ve been there as he showed off his fish.  But I did get some
shots of him with the butterfly he made…as Jack was at home being a

Um, as for our day…it’s always good to have a Monday (Andy’s day
off), and this weekend was very fun.  So, it’s a good way to start the
week…Wednesday we have a follow-up at the Autism Center in
Indy…we’ll let you know.


The house is quiet for the first time today.  Aaaahhh…  I only wish my husband were here so we could enjoy the stillness together.  Our college-age group ( meets Thursdays now at 9 pm, and since we’re leaving the boys tomorrow night for a pastors’ retreat, I opted against a baby-sitter tonight.  Tomorrow the pastors and wives are spending the night at Oakwood, and my parents are coming out to watch the boys.  I’m so excited!  (The boys are pretty pumped too!) 
So Andy has bronchitis, and Jack caught something as well–Not sure what his was, but it was enough to make a few rough nights of sleep.  I started a new Bible Study Wednesday a.m.  That combined with the lack of sleep or something made me totally forget Miles’ school pictures Wednesday   I feel horrible–he’ll probably be the only child missing from his class picture…on the other hand, I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of those frames you display at graduation parties with a slot for 3 yr. old preschool…
Ok, let me think about some funny things I’ve heard today:

  • “Miles, what are you drawing?”  “The Promised Land!”
  • Miles has made up several nicknames, among the few:  Jackie, Jiggy (he picked this up from us), Monkey Boy (today I was gathering them around and Miles says to Jack: “Come on monkey boy!”)
  • Changing Jack’s diaper today, he said “I’m being very very helpful.”

I’m learning alot about friendships from our neighbors from India.  Today we were on a walk and Miles and Jack wanted to go play with their girls, so we stopped in on them.  Immediately she invites me in for tea, which is amazing Indian Chai.  An hour later…we headed back home, but only because she had a dance class to go to.  Other times, she’s entertained us for 2+ hours unannounced.  I suppose it has to do with being raised in a culture that’s so warm, welcoming, hospitable, but it’s so humbling to think how poorly I’ve reached out to them when they’ve stopped in on us unannounced.  They truly have a way of putting people first.  Here we thought we were the ones reaching out!  I’m just very thankful for getting to know them.
Sorry no pictures–they’re still as cute as ever!