I have an amazing husband. Thursdays are a loooooooong day, with the venture starting at 9…so, he gave me some time this morning on my own, to process yesterday’s appointment. Last night after we got home from Indy, we had a meeting on reaching out to internationals in our community (by offering ESL at our church, etc.), so basically all we could do was switch gears, then after putting the kids to bed, Andy went outside and built a fire and sat there until midnight…I tried to join him , but I was so cold, I sat as close to the fire as I could without catching my knees on fire…but then your back is just as cold…so I went to bed. (I love the way God made men and women to deal with stress differently.)
So, I’m locked in our room, and occasionally I hear a little 3 ft. tall creature rattle the door and check…yep, still locked. It’s sweet, I hear Miles comforting Jack out there. Jack: “Wanna see mommy.” Miles: “No baby Jack, mommy’s taking a bath.” Now, I hear Andy playing the harmonica, and every now and then a 2nd one chimes in…Anyhow, back to my world here.
Yesterday, as is typical of our drives down to Indy, we’re talking about how far Miles has come and how well he’s doing. Yes, our days are long and difficult, but I don’t know if you grow used to it as much as you just get through…and looking back to last appt.(in May), I think he’s made amazing strides. He’s potty-trained (most days ), he’s doing well in school (although it sets him over the edge for the rest of the day, but we’re working on getting some ways he can release his “sensory overload” before it’s too late…), he’s talking much clearer and surprising us with new phrases everyday. And the dr. acknowledged these things, but still showed concern…and offered other appts. we need to look into and treatments we need to consider. I don’t know what response I’d hoped for…maybe to say “Yep, this can be your last appt. with me. He’s just fine!” or “You’re obviously doing things right because he’s come so far.” But, you know as well as I, drs. don’t share those things too freely. (If you’ve ever had a dr. say that, please let me know–we’re switching to them )
Oh, there’s more I could explain about our time there, but I guess it all comes down to…Miles is an amazing kid. He has strengths that put us all to shame. Yesterday, when we came home and had to quick switch gears for our meeting, I had a little overload myself and started crying. He is very sensitive and immediately gave me a huge bear hug and kiss (on both cheeks like in Europe). It was all I needed to refocus. Autism or not, Miles is our special little guy, and I love him just the way God made him. We want to do what’s best for him, and I used to think that was the GFCF diet, speech therapy, occupational therapy, physical therapy, ABA, homeopathy, enzymes…and while those things have helped and we’re still doing some…you come to a point where you don’t have time to enjoy the child…to pray for healing, but to thank God for His beautiful creation.
In the car, our boys love to sing, and my favorite moment of the drive was when Miles would throw his head back in his car seat and sing at the top of his lungs “Holy is the Lord GOD ALMIGHTY, the earth is filled with His glory!” Andy and I would look at each other, smile and say “I can imagine there is little more that brings joy to the heart of God. Isn’t that how all of our responses should be? In weakness, in handicaps, in special needs, the earth is filled with His glory. They are not an accident, but the very thing that can bring God glory. For His strength is made perfect in our weakness.
So, time to shower and find my boys who are now outside I think…only because it’s unusually quiet.
Oh, and one last story: I was driving the last stretch yesterday, and all of a sudden we came over a hill and upon a sign that said 35mph…I was doing 55! I hit the brakes, but there was a cop right there ready to nail me, and I as nonchalantly as I could went 41 past him figuring it’s too late…and kept watching, but no copper in my rear view mirror. Luck or Grace. Whatever. I’m so thankful I didn’t have a speeding ticket to add to the day.