Beckett Jude.

Maybe.
Picking a name is hard stuff.  But the 4 of us like it, so hopefully baby beckett will too…
I had to upload some pics from today.  Andy took the boys out canoeing, and I sat by the lake, sipped on an iced coffee and snapped some pics.  We’ve been trying to sneak in as many special little family times here as we can before the unknowns of a newborn is upon us.  I just have no idea what to expect.  It’s been 4 yrs., so I’m hoping I’ll remember what to do…
I’ve been so anxious about this delivery.  More so than with the others–I don’t know if it’s because now I know more–but I’ve been overcome by fear at times, and have been praying alot.  But also trying to psych myself up for what’s ahead.  It’s on my mind all day, and I feel so silly always trying to talk myself through the questions that come into my head.  There’s just so many unknowns, and I don’t like not knowing, especially when it affects my kids–who should I call first if I have to go into the hospital in the middle of the night?  what if we can’t reach anyone?  how will Miles and Jack adjust?  what if I labor during the day–where should I send them so they don’t have to see me in pain?  will it be an easy recovery or will they resent the baby by seeing how momma’s hurting?  will I have time for them like I do now? 
I’ve never been this prepared before–I have basically everyhting (besides scrapbooks) scratched off my to-do list, which I think scrapbooking will be on my to-do list until I die if I don’t change my method… 
I have the freezer full of healthy homemade meals following delivery. 
I have talked with several people who are willing to help out however, including coming over in the middle of the night. 
Maybe the hard part is that I can’t do everything, like I like to.  I will…and do…need help.  And I’m never good at asking for that.  So, this is going to be a learning and growing process for me.
On a very positive note, a dear friend who is a doula has offered to come over anytime to help me, should I need it during labor.  (I told her I’ll probably feel too bad to call her in the middle of the night to ask for help…but ANdy won’t, if we need it ๐Ÿ™‚  She showed us some tips for counter-pressure and labor positions that are helpful to get through without drugs, in case labor goes too quickly for her to come help.  She said one of the best things in early labor is to dance!  Who woulda thought?  The side-to-side movement helps position the baby and to relax during contractions.  It’s worth a try!  I’m also reading a book (below) she recommended.  If any of you read it, I’d be curious of what you thought.  There’s lots of ideas I’ve never heard of in there before, about how birth can be the most utopian, euphoric experience!  Crazy, but inspiring nonetheless.
Well, on to the pics.

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6 more days…
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2 thoughts on “Beckett Jude.

  1. filledeparis

    Praying much for you, dear friend! You really do look lovely!”I cried out to the LORD, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.” Ps.34:4

    Reply

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